Monday, January 12, 2009
Sexuallly Selective Traits looked for in the male
(Although the video above portrays gifts of resources extraneous to basic sustenance, it demonstrates that males are given toward this behavior of gifting of resources during and after the initial courtship. It is a demonstration of devotion and of his ability for resource provision above and beyond basic sustenance. Often times the gift has no useful utility but is an expensive embodiment of his ability to provide. This is always appreciated by females especially during courtship. Male resource provision helps her to distinguish males that are looking solely for a short term mating opportunity and those who demonstrate a level of devotion consistent with long term male mating strategy.) In essence "gifting" of roses and other compliments demonstrates devotion and his willingness and ability to provide. Women of high resource males such as the woman above may be gifted high amounts of resources. I believe this is partially do to the fact that it simply takes more expenditure to reach a costs coefficient consistent with the cost-dedication displayed by a lower resource male with a gifting of a single, lower value resource item. It must be remembered that women are not greedy "gold diggers". Women simply need small acts of devotion from men periodically and not necessarily the expensive or the material. Men instinctually know this and take great pride in "gifting".
At the San Diego zoo I loved to sit and watch the bonobo apes. During feeding time several oranges were tossed into the enclosure. I noticed the female, although excited stayed up on the hill where the two were "hanging out" the male, along with other males and females excuse my expression, went ape shit when they saw the oranges bouncing about and both sexes charged toward them. He grabbed one for himself and quickly charged for and grabbed another more distant one in the nick of time. He ran back up the hill and gave the other to the female. It was such a beautiful and endearing thing to witness. I identified with that very much and knew the pride he took in getting that orange for her. Bonobos are extremely communal and sexual. I believe exclusively polygamous as well but there are elements of monogamous pair bond dynamics none the less. It was a very special thing to witness.
In our evolutionary development women needed to ensure the male would not stray or leave her and was dedicated to helping her gestate and raise the child. Such actions were very meaningful to her. Today he is told he is not needed and to go away. Men are very hurt, confused, alone and isolated. Men get conflicting signals. As much as women say they do not need us and that they are independent they still look for tall, strong, ambitious, intelligent, high status, resourcefully successful males.
I believe the reason men are slipping to 42% of college admissions is because we are told we are not needed. Men increasingly feel helpless and useless to women and indeed we are portrayed as such everywhere we look. I believe male protective and provisionary behavior such as opening doors and "gifting" of roses etc is dropping away. Men are increasingly withdrawing from women and this is a terrible thing. The very premise of this dynamic could not happen in reverse. Due to our essential difference women will not provide resources to men, we are on our own. We are told we are not needed to and yet are still required to produce. Much of our gender roles evolved around this natural dynamic.) Much of this dynamic is responsible for our turmoil and the dissolution of marriage and commitment to women and indeed vice versa.
I would like to illustrate that this very premise of our differences that stem from evolutionary differences, male male competition, sexual selection and female choice are solely responsible for the domination of men in business, politics, economics, government and over resources. This is not done by men to oppress women but done by men for the benefit of women and to attract and be useful to women, to qualify for female choice. The men who are better able to do this ie. high status, resourcefully dominant males have substantially higher mating opportunities with women. This holds true to this day. Indeed the inverse is not true for females and in fact may even repulse males of lower resource potential than she has.
I believe that most fail to realize the tremendous influence of this single selective trait of resource provision and how the mating dynamic may indeed be changed by female resource potential. There have been many books and groups that have formed that try to answer the question as to why resourcefully successful women have trouble marrying and having children. Support groups like Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse or SWANS and books like Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women, by Christine B. Whelan are trying to understand the issue.
Although I believe Christine Whelan's book Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women might be on the right track. It is my belief that women of high resource potential may indeed only look for males who make as much or ideally even more than they do. This creates a much tighter tolerance on the selective structure in that she will seek no less but equal or more resources in the males she dates. These women in fact are products of their own biological limitation they imposed on themselves. As such I would be willing to bet she can not put what women are programed to look for in a mate by the wayside and marry George the office clerk but in fact she is still looking for a high status male. Her selective process then is relative to what she herself has achieved and acquired.Only a man equal or above her potential is adequate to her. Thus her options are limited. Especially when her only options are high status "alpha males" who indeed have their pick of not only lower resource females to provide for but younger females as well.
I believe it is this tighter threshold of the sexually selective dynamic that makes it harder for women to meet what they are programed to see as an adequate mates in terms of resource provision. In essence she is a victim of her own biology in that the more a woman achieves the less adequate males there are for her to choose from.
(PLEASE SEE MY BLOG "DIVORCE AND MARRIAGE" TO SEE THE ALARMING GRAPHS!!) There are many causes for these graphs but I believe the above is one of them.
Is it just me or do women look for tall, large, strong, high status, intelligent, ambitious, resourcefully successful and powerful men. Feminists will have you believe that women look for these things because they are unable to "bring home the bacon" because of oppression by "The Patriarchy".
Is it not true that no matter how much money women make they will always seek out a man that makes as much or more money than they do?? Think about it really. Women's primary traits of biological importance to men are inherent. Just by having traits of youth, beauty, fertility and the ability to nurture young women are valued where as men have to produce something to be of value to a pair bond. Would you (a woman) if dating a military man rather date a high ranking officer or lower?? Men work, gather money and fight for status. Would you honestly say that you would be willing to support a man financially as men have done and are willing to do so for women? It is my contention that female selection of these traits and demonstrations by males of such during human courtship will not end as they are to ingrained in us. Prostitution serves to illustrate male resource provision and female choice as real elements of your evolved gender roles.
If we are not careful men will become subjugated to these female desires even if she is able to provide plenty for herself leading to gross denigration of the value and status of men in our society. Expectations of what would now be subservient provision will be placed on him in courtship and elsewhere in his relationship with women. This is already happening. I believe men are starting to withdraw from women and a "hook up" culture has been created.
Many issues in Men's Rights is a response to "women's independence" In essence "You don't need us then we don't want you to need us" and also "You don't need us then we don't need you". Men get the modern woman's message quite clear and it is visceral and deeply impacting, we see it everywhere. As unfortunate as it is, if you look at what some of the major arguments from men's groups you will see that many elements of men's rights is based on the notion of withdraw away from women and obligations to them. I believe feminism has created opposing forces which is a very terrible thing. It is my hope that men's rights movement will achieve a greater understanding of our essential natures and bring men and women back together. To actually restore marriage and the family. To see men and boys for what they are so that we may celebrate male servitude and masculinity to the pair-bond and the servitude and femininity of women.
Increasingly, men feel resentful to pay for meals, open doors, pay alimony and child support to women that are not their wives and children they can't see. Men feel resentful to provide or protect women in any way. You can get a glimpse of this by reading my article on "chivalry is dead". You get a glimpse of the double standard of what women are looking for in men and what feminism is pushing women towards. As result men are declaring our "independent" status as well. In essence the premise being that if you don't need us then we don't need you, or want you to need us in any way. The premise being that all we want is to see our babies and for you to leave us alone. This is very sad but as divorce is now the norm men feel we have no choice. We need equal rights and independence in this new model.
With female need of male provision alleviated she is still at liberty to look for and expect resource provision. So though women may reach a point of economic equality with men, the sexes will not reach equality in terms of female expectations for male provision and will thus continue to look for such ability and willingness in a mate and in such profusion that only males of equall or more resource acquisition potential than her will be attractive to her. Females will always look for resources from males whether in the form of prostitution or through courtship and mated pair bond. Woman have raised the bar of expectation of resource provision by men and at the same time tell us we are not needed. Some men are working harder than ever before to be of value to women but many if not most are withdrawing from women and feel increasingly resentful of this double standard placed upon us. Divorce is now the norm, single mother birth rates are up while overall birth rates are down. Marriage rates are declining at a 45 degree angle. (please see my blogging "marriage and divorce"
In this new norm of divorce men are subject to provision of resources and yet isolation from the woman and his children. males will be nullified from participatory inclusion in the love, sanctity and mutual trust of marriage and family. As current men are relegated to isolation and unable to see their children by default in many cases. They are forced to support women that are not their wives. Please see the graphs of rampant divorce rates that skyrocketed when the second wave feminist movement began on my blog post above. By viewing the graphs you can see that The feminist ideal of exclusion of males from the family and development of government husbandry are perverse and have done great damage to my nation and my people.
We will and indeed increasingly do live in an environment in which men and women will have no need to maintain a pair bond and as is increasingly current will only need each other for the purpose of reproduction. Looking at the divorce graphs on my other blog post you will see that indeed we are going our separate ways. Men's rights has formed to absolve men of any connection to women, to neither provide or protect them. Ultimately it is very sad but I feel I must support this as feminism has gone as far as it has. Ultimately I want us all to turn this around to reach a balance between men and women, to have a mutual need, connection and devotion to each other.
After conception and divorce and this expectation of men continues all male provisionary resources will and in fact are at this time provided in the form of government husbandry, child support and alimony without a man present. Children will, and increasingly so, will not have a father. This is a great diservice to men, boys, our children and women.(see blog fatherless homes and affect) We will see the prevailence of the sanctity of marriage dissolve and serial monogamy at best will take it's place. It is infact unfortunate that some sort of reciprocity is not present in the form of payments of sex to the man as only his evolutionary biological purpose of resource contribution to the pair bond is exploited in this arrangement. This idea of sexual alimony goes to show you the contrast (so perhaps a woman reading this will understand) as I do not think either form of alimony is right.
Women have to understand that there are sexually selective pressures on men and the traits that women look for in men are universal. I believe that over time through selection of advantageous traits in men by females men became more and more specialized to do these things. I believe that men are uniquely designed to aquire resources and territory and are specialized to utilize these resources to support life. To be gifted at understanding how things work, to acquire, build and repair and support these things he builds. I believe it is these basic traits that lead him into resource utilization fields especially the technical engineering fields. They are designed to compete viciously for these things. Most all crime relates directly to acquiring resources. How many women sell drugs, rob, steal, racketeering, embezzling and the list goes on. How many women are drawn to work on wall street. Men will in fact throughout history, form raiding parties and attack other tribes for such things. War is a uniquely male phenomenon and has taken place between men and tribes from the beginning of our existence as a species. Men are strong, exteemly dangerous, voracious and ambitious creatures who do not think twice about directly competeing with, fighting as in boxing and other sports and killing another man in war.
It must be made clear that men do not do this for themselves they do it for women. They do it for children. They do it because they have to. I believe that men are the virility and embodiment of lifes persistence to perpetuate itself. If any arguement is to be made that men don't want women competeing with them for such things it must be made clear he only does this to labor and work for her and give her the fruits of his labor. A woman and child is the ONLY things he would do this for.
I believe and in fact can state for a fact that every line between countries on the face of the planet was drawn by the blood of men and male male competition for territory, resources or sociologically perceived threats to these things. It is no mistake or socialization that men are willing to and indeed required to give their hard earned money and resources to women. One must understand that there is no way in most cases (besides an "incidental alpha male gene lust mating") to access sex for a man without some sort of provision of resources especially for long term pair bonding and mating. Usually the female in this isolated case will find an unwitting and more effeminate man to stick around and raise the offspring( PLACE OVULATION AND PREFERENCE FOR MASCULINE FEATURES STUDY HERE). For all intensive purpose men must provide resources and devotion of such. It must also be made clear that men and women have sex for many reasons but my focus for the sake of argument is on the predominate underlying forces in play.
I took a women's studies class at SADDLEBACK COLLEGE in Mission Viejo, California. In this class I was shamed and demeaned for being a man and the very essense of my nature and my entire gender was attacked and hurt very deeply. My idealizations, respect, chivalrous, and romantic view of women was shattered. The intentions of my gender toward women misinterpreted and conveyed to women as a collective, conscious intentional oppression of women for the benefit of men. I want to say that without a doubt men do all the things that feminists complain about FOR WOMEN. He does this without asking himself why and if the very essence of man were asked he will respond "because I love her", because I want to provide and protect her and our children!
MEN ARE VERY DEEPLY HURT BY THIS THINKING AND NEED TO RECLAIM OUR RIGHTFUL PLACE. WE NEED TO COMMUNICATE OUR NEEDS IN THIS FINALLY BURGEONING MEN'S MOVEMENT.
(In a cross-cultural study by David Buss, men and women were asked to rank certain traits in order of importance in a long-term partner. Both men and women ranked "kindness" and "intelligence" as the two most important factors. Men valued beauty and youth more highly than women, while women valued financial and social status more highly than men.)
You must understand that for men to organize socially as we have and to confront a social issue like this that he must be under extreme duress. Quite frankly men would rather not be focusing on these issues but we feel we have to and must defend ourselves against women!! Honestly we would rather be doing other things but we are in great pain and suffering and are beginning to fight back.
PLEASE LINK UP WITH OTHER ELEMENTS OF THE MEN'S MOVEMENT TO MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD. PLEASE CONTRIBUTE IN ANYWAY YOU CAN EVEN IF IT IS HELPING SOMEONE TO MY BLOG. PLEASE DONATE MONEY IN ANYWAY YOU CAN. PLEASE STAND UP AND FIGHT THE INJUSTICES AGAINST MEN AND EITHER HELP TO MAKE US INDEPENDENT FROM WOMEN OR BRING MEN AND WOMEN BACK TOGETHER. TO REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT DIRECTION WE SHOULD GO WE NEED WOMEN TO TELL US WHAT THEY ARE WILLING TO DO. THIS IS SOMETHING WE HAVE TO DECIDE TOGETHER. WE NEED A NATIONAL AND CULTURAL DIALOG. THERE IS CHAOS AND CONFUSION IN OUR CULTURE. I HOWEVER ALONG WITH MANY OTHER MEN ARE RELUCTANT TO COMMIT TO ANY WOMEN NOR GET MARRIED.
PLEASE IF YOU DO INVOLVE YOURSELF WITH A WOMAN SIT DOWN WITH A LAWYER AND DRAW UP A BULLET PROOF PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT UNTIL WE REACH A CEASE FIRE AND HOPEFULLY A TRUCE. I BELIEVE THAT WOMEN FUNDAMENTALLY ARE LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL AND DEEPLY CARING BEINGS BUT LEFT TO THEIR OWN UNCHECKED THEY HAVE AN INNATE SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT TO THE FRUITS OF OUR LABOR AND ALL OF OUR SACRIFICES. THEY HAVE AN INNATE NEED TO BE PROTECTED AND PROVIDED FOR AND GIVEN FEMALE CHOICE IS A PART OF OUR SELECTIVE DYNAMIC, WOMEN HAVE INNATE EXPECTATIONS OF ENTITLEMENT. IT IS TIME TO DRAW THE LINE AND CUT THEM OFF OR BRING WOMEN BACK INTO OUR LIVES ON EQUAL TERMS. IT IS TIME TO STOP RAPING AND SYSTEMICALLY TRANSFERING HIS PROVISIONARY PURPOSE IN A MATED PAIR BOND. IT IS TIME TO STOP THE LUCRATIVE PROFITS OF THE DIVORCE INDUSTRY AND SUBSIDIZING DIVORCE THROUGH ALIMONY ETC THAT PROVIDE NOT A MEDIAN STANDARD OF LIVING BUT A DIRECT TRANSFERENCE OF HIS PROVISION CAPABILITY, A LIFESTYLE HE IS ABLE TO PROVIDE AND SHE WAS ACCUSTOMED TO WITHIN THE MARRIAGE.