Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Male Guilt Complex

It occurred to me recently how divided male identity has become, how in conflict many men really are from the continuing assault on masculinity.

I realize that men are told how horrible we are so often that men, in our minds divide ourselves and our identity into two camps, the good man and bad men. We tell ourselves all the time that the masculinity our society continually attacks is not our masculinity, that we are the good man, the nice guy, especially to women.

The guilt complex runs so deep that we constantly placate to the shaming, we constantly want women to know that we are not "him", the bad guy, the evil masculine, the so called "typical male".

Those that have not found the sound reason of Men's Rights carry this burden, it weights heavy upon them, my brothers, those, the many who feel they have to tell themselves and show the women in their life I am not him, I am not him, that is not me, I am different, I am a good man, a nice man, I am not like most men I hear about, I am not him I swear, I am different. I am ok, please trust me.

Steve Bergman is a member of Men-4-Change and enters our school buildings in an effort to help boys with what he calls relationalization to the feminine. He states:

"In our work, we ask thousands of eighth-grade boys, "What do you want girls to know about you?" It rips your heart out to hear what they say: "I'm not really like this. I'm a nice guy underneath. I act like a pervert, but I really care. Don't believe my behavior and my actions."

Steve works to help young boys become more feminine and to realize why male sexuality is wrong, why being male is wrong and needs to be reformed...

"All the pressures in the culture demand that the little boy disconnect from his relationship with his mother to become a man. The culture says only in disconnection can you become a strong self that can grow." (One need not disconnect with the feminine to become male, one must be more feminine)

"People tell me, "You're just talking about the feminization of men! You just want men to become like women." We're not talking about the feminization of men, but about the "relational-ization" of both genders. If that, in this culture, is taken as feminization, we are in big trouble. That's what we're up against."

(In other words there is something fundamentally wrong with masculininity and only by relationalization to the feminine, only by getting young boys not to disconnect from the female archetype of mother, as he has stated above, can we get boys to be more agreeable to what females want, to behave and move toward a feminine ideal.)

Men know this burden I speak of well. This burden has ruined their innocence of spirit and that of boys. I hope my fellow men may realize, upon reflection, the forces they are up against and exactly how many horrible things they are told about themselves when they realize they are not alone in these thoughts, this experience.....

Men, despite the message you receive there is nothing wrong with being male. You are not those many things. You are not base, primitive, unevolved, selfish, a jerk or your sexuality perverted. You are not a bumbling, incapable man-child fool of a man they show you on TV. Do not be afraid, do not be shamed. You do not need to be reformed by gay men to make you acceptable. ("Queer Eye For The Straight Guy"). You do not need to apologize for being male. Reject your popular culture, reject misandry, reject male subjugation, reject the lack of respect for fatherhood, join us, lets go our own way!


Anonymous said...

This is exactly what they want to do with their misandric culture. Pushing us to submit to the Women to show that we are a good man, «we are different look we crawl at your feet». I nearly comit suicide (an old man saved my life) before understanding what make me so down and sad. The fucking misandric propaganda every where pushing in my head that I'm shit because I'm a male. They pushed in my head taht I'm a potentiel abuser and violent by nature.

Now I'm at war against this absolute evil call feminizm. All their lies, all the lives they destroyed and still destroy. United we can defeat those amazons whores!

I will figth the enemies of the innocent little boys to their unconditional surender. Strengt and Honor!

Talleyrand said...

Steve Bergman is a gender traitor. A feminist collaborator. There is a special hell for a guy like that.

There will come a point when men no longer grovel, but embrace the labels that the misandrists place on them.

It will not be pretty, but it will be just.

Anonymous said...

"I will figth the enemies of the innocent little boys to their unconditional surender. Strengt and Honor!"

Amen. I will gladly fight beside this man and any other who shares his sentiments.

We men have shed our blood for countless causes less noble than securing the future of our sons over the years,if we fail to stand shoulder-to-shoulder against those who are attempting to steal our wealth, our children, and even our very masculinity then we are what they portray us as on television-fools.

Let's make our stand now and overthrow these tyrants.

Caleb said...

THIS is what comes up when I search for male guilt?

Male guilt is important. Before you can equalize out dominance and privelege, you have to recognize it.

Male guilt as far as I experience it, relates to male sexuality. In that sense Steve had it right on the money. The problem is, though we rant and rave and say, "no I'm not that...I don't stare at girls' asses...I don't gaze...I don't objectify" it's NOT TRUE. There IS a biological basis to male sexuality, and it is one in which there is an inherent power struggle. I don't care what anyone says, this is an inescapable fact. All we can do is accept it, and try to catch ourselves when we do it. This is the limit of our subversiveness -- recognition and bad feelings. It is not to be abhorred; it is to be embraced.

After all, feminism started with WOMEN. It's their show. If you reject feminism, that's one thing. If you believe that men and women should be equal, then white guilt is, I believe, both a necessary and (almost) sufficient measure. Intellectual contribution is acceptable -- but in many cases you will have to prove through time that you are not that guy

Someone respond to this.

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Anonymous said...

I am interested in the issue of inappropriate male guilt and the excesses of feminism, but some of the comments on this site are
scary. They discredit the discussion.

Anonymous said...

Until you begin to think for yourself without fear of rejection, you will cower against accusation.

Value your own life experience, and form a perspective of your own.

Life is a migration of understanding for all of us. As you migrate the experience you are entitled to interpret your experience into a workable understanding. The very first understanding that is workable for anyone is the understanding that they are worthy as a person. To feel guilt for your biology is wrong. The most important thing an individual can do is ask questions.You will realize quickly that each question can have many answers. If you review the possible answers as potential outcomes, you should always be mindful to include the question of who is best served by each possible answer. Then ask yourself what is good for you and why.
A good question to begin with is...
What is the purpose of making a male feel guilt? Who is best served by a male feeling guilt?
Enjoy the view of answers that will cascade through your mind.