Thursday, September 30, 2010

Denigration of Men Is Normal

I was sitting at the dog park today and the 50 year old woman in front of me was talking on the phone about some guy "getting what he has coming to him." When the woman on the other line mentioned another man she replied “he’s a real jerk to”.

It gets me thinking how I never hear 50 year old men talk this way about women in public. “yea she’s a real bitch to” "she's gonna get what's coming to her" It would be considered quite crude to speak in public this way.

Somehow, women are the choosers so to speak. They have inherent value to men which can not be diminished. It seems they feel they have a license to be demanding and critical of men and are not concerned in the slightest of diminishing their value to men because of it. It seems they believe they have license to treat men this way.

How is it that the word jerk has become so acceptable to describe men? It reminds me of an ad I saw on the side of the road some months back that said “how not to marry a jerk” call 555-5555. Would it be more likely to cause a second thought in the public mind if the sign said “how not to marry a bitch” call 555-5555?

I suppose men should consider ourselves lucky, it could be worse. Women could have the right to slap us, beat us, and hit us in the genitals, even in public...or do they??? I suspect no one would care if they saw a woman in public keeping a man in his place, they may even laugh and most would think he had it coming.

Which reminds me, I was at the gym the other day and a lady was talking to her friend, she said “when a woman kills a man I always think he had it coming” I looked at her with a straight face and furrowed brow, she laughed nervously when she realized I was offended (i think I made her feel uncomfortable, at least I hope I did).

Why are women always seen as right and men are wrong? Why do they have such authority to be so critical, demanding and abusive of men? Why do they have the right to slap, beat and murder us? Why do they use the word jerk in public without a second thought? Why do "men have it coming" to us? Why is it so typical and common language that such names for men become so accepted and normalized that it never crossed the consciousness of the woman at the dog park when she was speaking of a man this way?

It seems that if a man were to speak the equivalent about a woman in public he would be conscious that it's inappropriate. The validity of his statement would be challenged by the mind of the listener. He would not be given the authority to speak of a woman this way as women are given the authority to speak of men this way. Why?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Why? In a word, accountability (as in, the lack thereof). When people push limits and boundaries and find no adverse consequences (or even find positive ones), they push further. This is why we have to have laws, and enforcement. This article on accountability is right on target.

Barbaric as it seems to us now (and I really don't advocate these things), pillory, dunking, and other forms of public humiliation were effective curbs on troublemakers and peace-breakers. We tolerate much more misbehavior than we once did. Perhaps we need a better balance between freedom and responsibility/accountability.

At the same time, the problem is becoming magnified as fewer people are embracing values that include self-restraint. Who the heck quotes the "Golden Rule" anymore? Hypocrisy and double standards (one set of standards for how you treat me, and another set for how I treat you) are the order of the day.

Finally, there is a propaganda war being waged. The primary objective of wartime propaganda is to demonize and dehumanize the enemy. "They deserve it" and suchlike is inevitable, and just the beginning. Sound familiar?