Speaking of such things, like many, I picked up from American culture the disdain and distrust of religion, the bible and God.
As I get older I don't discount any of it but search for meaning instead. When the bible says submit to your husband it simply means you are submitting to his submission to you. It means you trust him, have faith in him, his judgement and abilities and will follow, encourage, nurture, believe in him and support him.
A good leader and man will ask you how you feel about something and if he respects you he will value your thoughts, feelings, input and will seek to take them into account to make his decision. If a man honors you he will also consult you for your advice and values your opinion.
As in all relationships and group dynamics there are leaders and followers. Men seek to earn the right to be a woman's natural leader. It is an honor to him. Remember, he is serving you. Leadership is service. When you allow a man to lead you validate his submission and commitment to you.
A woman who contests him for leadership undermines his confidence and weakens him. It weakens your relationship. A woman who shows trust and faith in her man and believes in him can bring a woman and her man a long way together.
Women have the tremendous ability to inspire men to greatness. I know personally that when a woman believes in you, and has faith in you she can make your chest swell with motivation, confidence and pride. For the right woman there is nothing more a man wants to live up to but her.
Men will strive toward great things when there is a woman who inspires him through submitting to his submission to you...his leadership.
Your love, respect and faith in him is his fire within : )
Note: The above video was produced by a segment of the MRA who has a lot of good and productive and some bad and destructive messages. Although I disagree with some of the things they put out you have to pick the good from the bad. I also think that some of the way they express things is meant to express and vent male anger and hostility at our current state and condition. The message in this video however is consistent with something I believe will help young men, especially those raised by single mothers or have been brainwashed by our feminist culture. I believe it will also help young women get in touch with their natural feelings rather than falling prey to feminist ideology. Remember, we are meant to compliment each other through a mutually DEPENDENT bond and even compliment the other gender's needs and weaknesses. In fact in many ways we are complete opposites. When men and women consecrate a bond we are meant not for independence but for eachother : )
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Women to a certain extent carry inherent value to the opposite sex for the simple fact that they exist. As such they are naturally demanding and critical of men.
Women are naturally gynocentric and prone to narcissism. If you give into it and let things be all about her she will raise the bar upon you until she is disgusted at how far you bend for her. This is when you will lose her RESPECT.
Always lay down the law with women. Never...EVER say your sorry for anything unless you really screwed up. If a woman stomps off in a tissy fit NEVER go after her. This constitution is the only way she will respect you.
Culture is EXTREMELY critical of men because women, government and society rests on making men their work horses. Culture, along with women rely on shaming men into being the beasts of burden, responsibility, obligation and duty. As such, unlike women, men are the only gender held liable for our actions. Unlike women, men are expected to bear accountability.
As such these burdens come with a reward and that is RESPECT and the rightful status that goes with LEADERSHIP.
If a woman will not submit to your leadership gracefully then she does not respect you.
"Men seek to earn the right to be a woman's natural leader. It is an honor to him. Remember, he is serving you. Leadership is service. When you allow a man to lead you validate his submission and commitment to you."
Male leadership over women is not biblical. That idea is solely based on man-made traditions. The bible does say that the man is head of the woman. However, the word head in greek does not mean authority like it did in ancient hebrew, latin, and modern day english. The greek word for head, Kephale, actually means source or origin (as well as the physical head). When the bible says the man is the head of the woman, it means that the man is the source of LOVE (agape) that is given to the wife. If the bible meant for the man to be the leader of the woman, the greek word archon (meaning ruler, leader) would have been used. The greek word for love (agape) means that unconditional and selfless love that puts others first. While the word agape is used in a general sense for everyone to "love their neighbor as themselves", the word agape is ONLY used specifically for a husband's love TOWARD HIS WIFE. When a wife is specifically told to love her husband, the greek word philos is used. This word generally means more of a brotherly love, but lacks the depth of the word agape. While everyone is required to love (agape) each other, the emphasis on this word FOR THE HUSBAND means that the duty of showing unconditional and selfless love is stronger for him than the wife because he is the one who is most likely to oppress.
"If a woman will not submit to your leadership gracefully then she does not respect you."
The bible says that the husband is suppose to love (agape) his wife as Christ loves (agape) the church and gave his life for it (eph. 5:25). This has nothing to do with leadership. This is a SERVANT ROLE. How so? Christ took on the role of a servant, and submitted to God by SUBMITTING HIMSELF TO THE HUMAN AUTHORITIES (JEWS AND ROMAN). By submitting to the Roman and Jewish authorities, he allowed himself to be crucified to pay the penalties for our sins so we can be saved. It is this SERVANT ROLE that is used as a model for the love (agape) a husband is suppose to show his wife. As Christ submitted himself to God by submitting himself to the Roman and Jewish authorities out of love for us (the church), the husband submits himself to Christ by submitting himself to his wife out of love for her. How does the husband lay down his life for his wife? Simple. Eph. 5:28-32 clearly says the husband should love (agape) his wife as his own body. He treats her as an equal. It's no accident that Gen. 2:24 is also quoted here. Gen. 2:24 says:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
That, my friend, is an ancient description of a matriarchal society. Of course, the culture of ephesians was a greek/roman patriarchy, but the husband was suppose to forget the principles of his patriarchal society and live with his wife as an equal in his own home. In other words, the husband gives up the leadership of his wife that is expected by his culture. In response to this, the wife submits to her husband as the church submitted to Christ. How does she do that? She submits to God by recriprocating the love (agape) of her husband. Eph. 5:1 says it all:
Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
In other words, the emphasis is placed on the husband show agape love because he was the one in the position of power legally, socially, politically, and economically. As the one most likely to oppress his wife, the onus was put on him to make sure that didn't happen by not living according to his cultural values of male leadership.
So, this idea of male leadership of the wife was not, and is not biblical. By writing this blog, you are actually working AGAINST THE BIBLE. That's it in a nutshell.
Your interpretation is a admonishment of what you yourself have identified as male responsibility toward and for women and children. Remarkably subversive to the point being made wouldn't you say.....
Admission here: I'm an agnostic feminist (woman), so please keep that in mind if you choose to read this comment.
I think most women naturally defer to the authority of their husbands: on average, men are physically stronger and more self-confident than women. It makes sense that men would usually take on the leadership role in the relationship or in the family.
What makes less sense is to try to dictate or impose that submission structurally. After all, men and women are human beings: not all fit the male-dominant/female-submissive mode. My own mother, a conservative stay-at-home mom, was the dominant, authoritative partner in her relationship with her husband (my beloved step-father), and that dynamic worked very well for them.
Conservative Christian communities often urge women to "graciously submit to the servant headship of their husbands." But, the focus often seems to be more on women submitting, and less on men developing their "servant" headship skills. Some go as far as ignoring women congregants' complaints about their husbands' physical abuse, urging them to submit more fully in order to "transform" their husbands spiritually through their submissive behavior.
Any tradition that attempts to tell women to submit to their husbands' authority unconditionally is a recipe for disaster. It denies women their minds, their judgement, and their humanity. To say to a woman whose husband is beating her or flagrantly having affairs with other women to submit more fully is simply criminal.
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