Tuesday, May 4, 2010

What We Want In A Woman

Hmmm..... an author over at The-Spearhead posed the question....

"I’d like to invite readers to comment on some of the things that they actually do like about women. What are those things that can make you fall for a girl? What sets her apart from the others?"

I'd like to share my answer with you here....

Wow, where to start. I’ve always admired a quality in women that could be described as grace. To me female grace would imply a woman who is not selfish and will forfeit the spoils of good graces from men in the name of the higher ideal of reciprocal obligation, truth, respect, honor and responsibility. She would exhibit a tepid trepidation toward the idea of receiving excesses to suit her selfish and self centered desires.

A woman who is capable of nurturing, selflessness, empathy and who is giving only "opens up the door for me" to bestow my honor upon her. Someone who likes children, animals and nature.. I do think that women who are not spoiled by their youth, beauty and inherent attraction to men for the simple fact that she exists is very hard to come by. I do find that this is even more difficult to find a woman with grace if she is physically beautiful.

I also want qualities of grace that I could only describe as motherly qualities.

I want a woman who understands that she does not have ownership over children as if they were property and values the role of a father in the life of children.

I want someone who values the obligations and role of husband and father and will not exploit my honor and trust by taking my beloved child away from me and forcing me to financially support her and what she sees as “her” child by reducing me to the role of “Isolated Resource Producing Male” . It is simply the fact that women have the right to do the above by law that I can not bestow my honor upon one in marriage. It is because they have ownership of children that I am unwilling and unable to secure the honor of being a father.

I want a woman who believes that it should not be equality (sameness to men), independence (mutual or exploitative dis-need) , freedom and liberation (mutual dis-need) that reigns but difference, dependence, bondage and servitude that consecrates us and makes sacred our married bond.

I want a woman who will not abandon her family as so many do in much greater proportion than do men, especially if there are children involved. I want a woman that understands that her “choices” should not be enabled by male liabilities.

I simply want a woman who is not selfish and self centered as so many have become now in character and by law. I want a woman who respects sexuality and could only wish that sex did not play such a public and promiscuous role in her interactions with men in society and as now a part of her public identity. In essence someone who does not believe that females should be “sex objects”.

To me however all women are presumptively sexually available and this changes everything. It changes how I view and interact with women in general and how they view and interact with me. Though I do not pursue women for sex anymore I find that the modern woman’s identity of presumptive sexual availability affects virtually every aspect of even the most innocent, innocuous and benign interaction. I simply wish that if I were to interact with a woman at a bar or party that she was not a “sex object”. To me, all women are now sex objects.

She knows that by definition of social culture and morays that sex is on the table and as such a potential motive for my every action and potential motive for her action. It is now an inseparable part of our public relationship. I used to enjoy this quite a bit but I find myself wanting something more fulfilling, and now more than ever simply wish it were not this way. Perhaps it is something within females that will temper and recede with age. As for now I will have to maneuver around her inherent sense of value, an acute narcissism that seems to afflict the most physically desirable of females the most.

This is something of which men who are successful with women or those who care to bother pursuing her understand quite well. They promptly set about the laborious process of negating her inherent value and sense of self. It is the case that women are inherently desired, valued and worthy of men. No one speaks of the female ego so I will do so here and now. So for those who do not know, the inherent worthiness of her sex is where it comes from and this is the basis for which her ego is comprised.

Upon the most momentary of interactions I find myself repulsed by this commonality which I've found to be present in many modern, even remotely desirable woman. I wish it were removed and female grace, a type of humility and refinement would take its place. To me anyway, this is a virtually ubiquitous affliction of what could and would ordinarily be the most eligible of young, beautiful and fertile women in our culture.

I find it most disturbing that I do not honor what has become of her. I don't think women are inherently like this but rather it is something that most certainly is cultivated by American culture and values. For those of you who are students of Game, game on. As for me, a dignified conversation will suffice and a long slow process of courtship is ideal. Sexing women is something I am now indifferent to. I no longer engage the hook-up culture and for quite some time have taken respite from it. Perhaps such is the plight placed upon us by the American Cultural Revolution & "female sexual liberation" as they call it. Such is now our common struggle. Many women will ride this train until the dwindling twilight of their most fertile years...........

I also want a woman that is physically beautiful but again I must say that such an asset, in our culture anyway, often predicates a diametric opposition to the qualities for which to me, make for a truly wonderful, beautiful, endearing and desirable woman. One who could indeed hold the most sacred position to me in my family, a wife and mother.

This post was inspired by the-spearhead.com you can continue the conversation HERE


Anonymous said...

I am a woman. I do not wish to be a sexual object to you. There are women want to be and use their sexuality in everything... Please do not let those women color the way you see all women.

Anonymous said...

You want your mother. And you're all a buncha deadbeats.

Anonymous said...

I want to know why it is that women need to be the subserviant ones? Why can't men decide to have a little grace, to not only look at a woman as a sex object, why can't the men be the ones obligated for servitude, difference, dependance, and bondage? Why only the women? Please explain to me sir, why I should have to answer to one of your sex for everything I do, but you are not required to answer to someone of my sex for the things you do? When you decide to grow up and be a REAL MAN then I am sure some woman will be happy to not be just a sex object for you. Until then I hope, for the sake of all women, that no woman will even think about sex with you! As for all women being sex objects to you...well if you would stop viewing all of us as such, then you wont only see "sex objects". I hope that Goddess will enlighten your life and your views on women, because everything you have said can be turned around to be said about men, and all is just as true!

Lindsey said...

"I also want a women that is physically beautiful."

barf. best of luck with that!

also did you mean womAn? If you're going to slam my entire gender at least know how to make a grammatically correct sentence.

Bwec said...

YOU SAY: "why can't the men be the ones obligated for servitude, difference, dependance, and bondage?"

Men are already and by law as well, those who are not should be. Ask yourself how men are already in servitude to women and the ways they should be so if they are not. You should be so to him in kind. It's called a mated pair bond, a married consummate bond, a family.

The question we need to ask ourselves is whos body and the fruits of its labor are the property of who at the moment. Currently it is my belief that men are more in servitude to women than she to him...and this is instituted by law..

Bwec said...

YOU SAY: "I am a woman. I do not wish to be a sexual object to you. There are women want to be and use their sexuality in everything... Please do not let those women color the way you see all women."

Don't worry, I am cautious in who I bestow honor and trust to but I do not disrespect women by default. In my everyday life within the last month I helped a young woman who was trying to secure a stack of heavy metal chairs outside a restaurant that had fallen over and that she could not lift..

In the old days I can tell you that without a doubt if a woman were to be kicked out of a bar the bar tender or door man would call a cab and look after her and order her to stay put near the door man until the cab arrived..

The other day I witnessed a beautiful drunken young woman that was kicked out of the bar. The bar tender simply told her "get out of my bar" and the door man said essentially the same. She stumbled into three meth heads outside the gate. I asked her if she needed a ride and called her a cab. This nearly got me into a fight with the meth heads whom by nature of the drug were most likely in a state of psychosis.

I do these things for people and women because I am an honorable man. When I say that women are sex objects I mean that sex and the availability of it is now an inseparable part of the female public identity. As such it affects my interactions with women in public and civic discourse. I simply wish it did not....

Bwec said...

YOU SAY: "I want to know why it is that women need to be the subserviant ones?"

This is where you are wrong. We are supposed to be in mutual servitude. We are actually supposed to need each other.

Bwec said...

When I speak of female grace this element of female honor or the lack thereof extends itself so deeply within culture that it is truly multiplicitous and far reaching. It in fact affects family law and legislation to the Federal level.

I'd like to paste a comment here:

Cloud said: “Exactly. Men don’t consume nearly as much as women. Books, movies, television, politicians, ect. They are all tailored to what women want.”

Absolutely, which invariably means catering to the female ego, yes that’s right I said it, the female ego which unlike the male ego that is fed by the affirmation that he is useful in some way to women, a group or culture at large, the female ego stems from her inherent biological value for the simple fact that she exists. As such women are inherently valuable and worthy of male attention which when unchecked by a higher moral and cultural reasoning leads to a deeply cultivated narcissism and sense of entitlement that is absolutely voracious.

When expressed economically, socially and politically female consumption of resources in relation to “what women want” becomes dominate and pronounced. Increasing female influence in these realms of social and moral culture leads only to consummation of the very system and its supporting construct.

To me anyway it is quite clear that females are absolutely voracious when it comes to providing for, pampering, tending to and ensuring their own protection at the expense of everyone else, especially males.

Women make or are the dominate influence in 80% of all consumer purchases.

As a result “what women want” takes center stage in our defunct feminist culture… There are week long segments of news devoted to “what women want”

Gynocentric, matrifocal, matriarchal and feminized culture is the result… I would like to remind you that no matriarchal civilization has ever survived for long…. These structures by nature become self entitled, receptive and are quickly enveloped by their own consummation.

Danielle said...

Thanks for making my laugh my head off :)

Bwec said...

Hello Danielle, thank you for displaying a truth about you. There is more to laughing than you may believe. It is quite a strong reaction and is a kin to crying.

Something motivated you to leave a comment so I take it I've struck a cord with you. That being the case something I said resonated with you. Would you care to explain what it was?

What was it that I've elicited in you? Perhaps you have more in common with my sentiments than you would like to admit...This is good.

I know it is hard to understand but you are actually laughing about a fundamental truth in yourself. Did you know that comedy is based in truth. Think hard about this one...ask a professional stand-up comic what makes people laugh. A talented one will reply "a cleverly presented lest conceived truth or irony"

You laugh Danielle because I've revealed something to you about yourself. You would be wise to contemplate what that is.

Anonymous said...

I haven't read all of your blog but I will say that I do appreciate what you wrote. I can't say that feminism has been all bad since I can see some benefits but I will say that the hook up culture is destroying people. I don't know if you are religious or not but I would say I am not but we seem to agree on the issue just the same. I really respect how you saw the error in your actions and have become enlightened. I think more men need to do this and guess what? There will be a lot of quality women out there. Right now it seems like people are using sex to form relationships so they are lacking in character, personality, and values. Don't however become discouraged. I'm assuming you're much older than me (22) but I would like to say that people whom you describe really do exist.

Im only in my early 20s and refuse to sleep around. Im not a prude,I don;t think female sexuality should be shamed or looked down on. I also dont think women should be below men or men above women. Don't people realize that if a couple stands side by side they are much stronger? If more men started to forsake "loose" women then it would die out. Sure everyone can keep saying how much they are getting laid but like you they will become burned out and unhappy. Men control it too. Personally I don't want to be with a man that has been with a lot of women or has devalued sex. Its unattractive to me. That being said I find you might be at a little of a disadvantage because most chaste women think the same. Maybe you could find a woman who has also been enlightened? I can respect that you turned over a new leaf though.

Sex is too high a priority in relationships. I want a companion, mate, life long spouse. I dont plan on getting married for at least another 5 years but I at least know where I stand. I think men need to start raising their standards for women just like women need to start raising theirs. Its a two way street you know. I don't however see that happening right away. Too many people have bought into it. I guess you yourself was blinded momentarily as well. Im honestly glad that blogs like this exist, I wish more men would speak against not just feminism, but against how devaluing sex hurts both sexes. Men will never have as much power as they did before the womens rights movement, but I think at least deserve to have an equal share of it. Cheers, thanks for this post.

May said...

I agree with the comment left on December 27th 2011. My attitude towards sex is also very similar to the writer and I'm currently 23 years old.

I really hate how men enjoy verbally bashing ALL women through the internet via blogs/forums based on a few unfortunate encounters in their life. It's ultimately a cowardly and childish way of deflecting from self-blame. I strongly believe that: life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.